There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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