You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
