She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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