Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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