If that was your dad, he is hot
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
