How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
