Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
