Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
