The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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