We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
