...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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