Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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