Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I am available for nakedness
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
