doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
