just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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