I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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