Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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