Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
