If that was your dad, he is hot
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
