He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
