I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
