I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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