Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
