ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
