I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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