isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
