This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
time to smoke my breakfast
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Panties = found
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
