saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
