I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
