I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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