So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
