And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
only you would photoshop your dick
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
