Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
