we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My dick has a subreddit
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
