So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
