Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
