Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you win again, gameday.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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