If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
