I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
