Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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