Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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