I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
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