just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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