you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
