Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I will be naked everywhere
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
