am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
