Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
