Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
