i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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