Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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